Read Stories > Therapy Equips Veteran To Navigate Depression

For Mary, an Army Veteran and former intelligence officer, therapy has been less like a magic wand and more like a useful set of tools. It has not “fixed everything,” but it has helped Mary manage feelings of depression and deal with life changes. “I feel like my life has continued to have a lot of transitions,” Mary says. “Having a mental health counselor has really helped me navigate that.” 

At the breaking point 

Navigating Life's Transitions

When she left the Army in 1998 after 4 years in the service, Mary didn’t have that toolkit. She had married a fellow Soldier and had gone from being on active duty herself to being a military spouse.  

“That was a tough time,” she says. “There were a lot of changes. I realized I just didn’t know what to do with myself.” She was feeling anxious and depressed, but she didn’t know why she wasn’t feeling good.  

“I was just bending over backwards farther and farther, and I just got to the point where I couldn’t bend anymore. Like I was going to break,” she says. “And then I just felt like, ‘I just can’t handle these feelings, I don’t know what to do. I need someone to help me.’” 

Talking it out 

Mary sought counseling, but she notes that the benefits were not instantaneous. “In the beginning of counseling,” she says, “things actually got worse, and that’s apparently pretty common because you really are starting to talk openly about the things that are bothering you and have happened to you in the past, and that could be really tough.”  

Still, after 4 or 5 sessions, Mary began to feel some benefit from the treatment. “That’s when I started to feel like this is starting to get a little bit better,” she says.  

Mary’s treatment since then has involved mainly talk therapy, specifically cognitive behavioral therapy. “What I like about talk therapy,” Mary says, “is just having someone who I feel is in my corner. The counselor is there—really this neutral third party. I can go from talking about challenges I have in my professional career to concerns I have about my family.”  

Gaining confidence 

Through therapy, Mary has gained enough confidence in her ability to manage her depression to avoid despair during tough times. Mary explains how she navigates those periods: “Just reminding myself that it’s not going to be this way forever, that I’ve gone through tough periods before and come out of them, and I can go through this tough period and come out of it.” 

She also draws strength from the outdoors and the people around her. Mary is close to her immediate family, including her identical twin sister. She says reaching out to her family and friends or doing outdoor activities she enjoys—especially bird-watching—helps buoy her spirits and bring her joy. 

“Everyone experiences depression differently,” Mary says. “Accepting it can be really hard. Not fighting it and not being afraid of it: I think those are probably the most important things.”

For Veterans who think they might be experiencing depression, VA provides access to an online screening tool to help identify symptoms and the need for further evaluation.