5 Ways To Support a Veteran Friend or Loved One
5-minute read
5 Ways To Support a Veteran Friend or Loved One
5-minute read
The mental well-being of our friends and family is important to all of us. This can be a special concern for Veterans and their family members and friends. Military service can add stresses that lead to or increase mental health challenges. If you’re a family member or friend of a Veteran, you want to support them in any way you can. But what is the best way to do that? Here are 5 things you can do to start.
Connect to Veterans’ stories
For Veterans facing mental health challenges, the difficulties may feel overwhelming, and it may seem that no one will understand.
That was how Army Veteran Kurt felt when he returned from Iraq after sustaining severe injuries. “I don’t know how much faith I necessarily had in treatment. I didn’t feel like anyone could relate to me,” he says.
Jo, an Air Force Veteran and survivor of a terrorist attack on her barracks in Saudi Arabia, was also reluctant to seek therapy at first.
Despite their initial hesitation, both Kurt and Jo did get mental health care. The results changed their lives.
After receiving therapy to deal with feelings of anxiety, depression, and survivor guilt, Kurt says, “I felt that a weight had really been taken off my shoulders. It made everyday life better.”
When Jo sought help for symptoms such as hypervigilance, anxiety, and withdrawal from others, she was able to request—and get—treatment tailored to her individual needs. That treatment included therapy with women providers along with participation in a women Veterans group. This support helped her reconnect with her family and begin rebuilding her life. She says, “It’s a continuous thing. You just continually heal.”
Stories like Kurt’s and Jo’s show that whatever a Veteran is experiencing, other Veterans have stood in similar places and—through therapy and support—emerged as healthier, happier versions of themselves. Wherever a Veteran is in their life, healing is possible.
Sharing these stories with a Veteran in your life can encourage them to reach out for help and find their own path forward.
Extend a hand
Let the Veterans in your life know you’re there for them. If they are having a rough time, your presence as a listening ear or a helping hand can be invaluable. And no matter how your family member or friend is doing, your love and friendship will remain a source of strength and joy—in both your lives.
For Kevin, an Army Veteran, that pivotal support came from his wife, who was also the catalyst for his getting treatment for unhealthy drinking and substance use.
Kevin had turned to drinking and drug use in an attempt to cope with chronic ringing in his ears—a lingering effect of repeated missile firing during his Army service. “My addiction went on for approximately 20-plus years,” he says, “I was totally lost.” His substance misuse led to several years of homelessness.
Treatment, including cognitive behavioral therapy, helped Kevin get sober and manage underlying depression and anxiety. His wife has remained a source of support and now shares in the joys of Kevin’s journey. “She’s like my anchor. She’s my rock. You know, she gives me a lot of wisdom,” says Kevin.
VA has resources to support family, friends, and caregivers as they support the Veterans in their lives.
Start the conversation
A Veteran’s family members or friends may be the first to notice that something isn’t right with them. So it’s important to share your concerns when a Veteran in your life seems to be experiencing mental health challenges.
For Navy Veteran Aaron, it was his wife who prompted him to seek treatment.
Aaron was serving in Iraq when a mortar struck a building that he and his group were occupying. He says, “When I got back I started feeling numb. Because I didn’t want to attach myself to my wife, my kids, people I knew.” A year later, Aaron was quick to anger and was experiencing nightmares. Still, he tried to pretend that everything was OK. Then his wife suggested that he seek help.
At his first visit with a psychologist, he broke down. Despite his efforts to cope on his own, things were not OK. Aaron’s path to healing included attending Veterans’ groups. There, he found both connection and new tools for coping with his own trauma.
If you’re concerned about a Veteran in your life, VA has resources to help you learn the signs and symptoms of a wide range of conditions. And when your Veteran family member or friend is ready to seek help, treatment and services are available to support them, whatever they are going through.
Share the love
Whether you have a Veteran in your life or not, there are many ways to support the wider Veteran community. Here are some things that Veterans Kelly and Kevin are doing to share the love.
Navy Veteran Kelly has paid it forward by sharing her own story of healing. A survivor of military sexual trauma, Kelly tried to cope with her feelings of depression and anxiety. However, after her mother was diagnosed with cancer, Kelly realized she couldn’t face those mental health challenges alone. For her, therapy was transformative. “We have to get this off of our hearts, off of our minds, whether it’s military related, whether it’s family related,” Kelly says. Beyond helping other Veterans, Kelly strengthens her local community through the urban youth farming project that she founded.
Army Veteran Kevin earned his certification as a peer specialist and now facilitates recovery groups for Veterans experiencing substance use disorder. “It really makes me feel good when I can help them and help them to change their thinking,” he says.
Spread the word
You can help others help Veterans too by spreading the word about Veterans’ mental health challenges, available treatments, and resources. VA has resources for Veterans, their loved ones, and the general public, including social media posts, flyers, and more. Download, use, and share these resources today!
